My oldest daughter just turned 18 this past March. This was her Senior year of high school and she just graduated last weekend. Taylor has been the center of my attention for most of her life. We were very close and she is just a great kid. Over the past 6 months to a year we have been growing apart. She doesn't talk to me as much and she would head straight to her room after school.
I have been on her to get a job for over a year now and I don't know what it is, but she was really lazy and wouldn't do what she needed to do. I became very frustrated and that is when the problems began I believe. She would go online and fill out applications and just leave it. I would explain to her that her best bet would be to go in there and talk to someone face to face even if it was just to say that she put her application in. How do you get noticed when it is all online and no one sees you? I wanted her to try a little harder, that's all. It got to the point that she wouldn't even put applications in anymore. And when I would bring it up, she would just roll her eyes and get ticked off at me. I'm a single mother trying to raise the three of them the best I can, but when she started driving and her last year of school there were so many additional expenses. Car repairs, car insurance, gas for two cars, all of the senior expenses for cap and gowns and everything else and the list goes on. Not to mention application fees for college. It seemed like every day there was something new she needed money for and I just didn't have it. And they just don't seem to understand the burden we have trying to pay for everything. This was just one thing of friction in our relationship though.
Her best friend is a girl that is very dark, unsocial, and sort of stand offish. She isn't approachable at all. She doesn't say anything to me, which I find odd. She is completely fascinated with Edgar Allen Poe. Taylor would talk about how she didn't have many friends, she didn't talk to anyone. The girls parents are divorced and both remarried. The father is a wealthy German living here in the US. He seems to be a very nice guy. He bought his daughter a car, she totaled the car and then he bought her a new one. She gets pretty much anything she wants. He took a bunch of them Zip Lining for her birthday. They have a hot tub and pool. Her mother is remarried and there is something about her that just doesn't sit right with me. I've met her several times and it's always strange. She is the mom that tries to be hip and doesn't give her daughter many rules. We went to dinner one night and they were talking about the 27 year old man that was flirting with her daughter. Her daughter is 18 years old and it was being discussed like it was no big deal. I don't know what it is, but there has always been something weird every time I speak with her mother. So to sum it all up, I don't really approve or like this friend. She pays for Taylor to do things all the time, which I can't stand. Taylor accepts the hand outs even though I have tried so hard to get her to work for her own things. One thing about this girl is that she has had a job since she was 14. You would think that would rub off on Taylor. She got the job because her mother was a manager, but she goes to work and saves her money.
The next item that fills our relationship with friction is her boyfriend. Everything was fine until I picked up her phone one day and started reading her text messages from him. They were so gross. There was so much sexual context it was disturbing. I confronted her about the texts and told her I was really disappointed. I have tried so hard to instill certain qualities in my kids and this was surely not one of them. That put a huge strain on our relationship, because I was not very keen on that boy and what he was saying to Taylor. I managed to get her to 18 years of age a virgin. I'm thinking she is not anymore.
The final thing that affected our relationship is Kevin I believe. Taylor wasn't the center of my attention anymore. She was getting older and I had found love. We talked about it and I told her that she needed to understand that she had the rest of her life and that was just starting. This was something for me... something I needed in my life.
So, May came and her and her boyfriend had Prom to go to. I tried to be very neutral and nice to him. I took pictures and even sent him a text letting him know that I was proud of him for getting his license and that he looked nice tonight; please take care of my daughter. Curfew was midnight and she was home when she was suppose to be, although her story of the night doesn't ring very true for me. They took photos, but yet I can't find any photos of her by the photographers. The following weekend was the Military Ball. The rules were the same.. be home by midnight. I woke up at 1:30 am and she was not here. She had forgotten her cell phone so I was blowing her boyfriends up. He wouldn't pick up. I called the hotel to see what time the ball was over and it was over at 11 pm. I kept ringing and ringing until finally Taylor picked up. She said she was on her way and I went back to bed. I really didn't want to confront her that night because I was pretty upset. The next morning we got up and went to church and she wouldn't speak to me. Then when we got home we took the dog to the park. I asked her what happened and she said they left the ball at 11 pm and went back to his house. They were talking to his dad for a while and she walked off and fell asleep. So I just simply said... "So in other words, you had no intention of ever being home on time. The ball was over at 11 pm and you were suppose to be home by midnight. He is 45 minutes away from home, but you chose to go to his house. This means there was not a chance of you being home on time." I told her she was grounded for two weeks. She looked at me and said, "That will not work. I have that concert to go to with Victoria and I can't just tell her no." I looked at her and told her that is exactly what she would do. I didn't make her stay out late. She chose to break the rules and this wasn't the first time. The rest of the day I knew something was up. I guess you could say just a feeling you get. When it was time for me to go to bed I asked her what was up. Taylor looked at me and told me she was leaving. She was moving out and moving to her best friends house. If I hadn't confronted her she was going to wait until I fell asleep and then she was going to leave. So I would have woken up in the morning and she wouldn't have been there.
It was like someone ripped my heart out. I tried to get her to stay... I cried and cried and it was like I was in mourning for a few weeks. I still tear up when I think about everything that has happened and how she did it. All because she didn't want to follow the rules? And then the aftermath...
|Kevin on the Stryker.. this was our first big purchase together. And this is when he is happiest.|
|And the kids love it as well.|
I am really trying to use the supplies that I have as much as I can. I have so many sets from Club Scrap that I never used so I'm trying to use them. I am a huge hoarder LOL So I'm trying to use what I have to lessen my hoard of scrap supplies. I actually went through a ton of stuff and brought a bunch down stairs to a fellow scrapper.