Every time I think about how she left I realize I'm still angry with her and hurt. I really need to let that go and I'm not sure why I'm having such a hard time. I think just because I want her to realize how that I've always been there and it really hasn't been that bad living here. I feel like she robbed me of our last few months together before she heads off to school. I feel robbed of the trip taking her to school and moving her into the dorm.
She called me a couple of weeks ago because she needs her car. I can't believe it took her that long to realize she needs a way to get to and from. Her car did not pass emissions this year and I didn't really have the money to get it fixed. I was hoping that the car being down would give her a little incentive to get a job so she could help me get it repaired; I was wrong. I paid the taxes on the car in March, but it has been sitting since then. She called my mother and sister a couple of weeks ago to see if they would get her car fixed. They told her she needed to call me to see if I would put her back on insurance before they dumped money into the car. That is the reason she called. She needed the car fixed and she needed insurance. So, this past week the car was repaired; almost $900. She is still insured on it at $43 a month which she will need to pay me each month.
Maybe I'm being harsh, but I expect her to pay the insurance each month and the cell phone that I pay. Maybe I shouldn't, I just don't know. But I feel like she has made the decision to be an adult, which means she has to be an adult. She needs to work and she has to pay her bills. If she went out and got a cell phone it would cost her easily $50. Her cell phone is still on my plan and it only cost me about $20 each month with her extras. With insurance a her cell phone I'm going to ask her to give me $50 each month. Is that wrong? Is it too much? Should I just keep paying for it like I have? My mother thinks I'm being harsh, because if she was still at home and going off to school I would probably being paying for it. But that isn't how it is. She moved out because she didn't want to follow the rules.
So, I'm meeting her for lunch to give her the car and talk to her about some things. I need to talk to her about paying me each month and that if she doesn't I will take the car. I need to talk to her about taking care of the car as well and that she needs to appreciate what my mother bought her. She really has never appreciated it or seemed to appreciate it. She was given a car! I had to work my butt off to get a car. I paid the insurance on it and I filled it with gas. I kept asking her to get a job so she could help out, but she would never really look. Frustrating! I need to explain that she needs to make sure to get the oil changed and take care of it. Also, that she needs to make sure she is taking it to a shop, because she had her friends father try to figure out what was wrong with it. He changed a spark plug and he ended up putting the wrong type of spark plug in it which was not good for the engine. I need to try to explain all of this nicely and not get my back up. LOL I'm struggling with that!
My mother lectured me yesterday about how I need to not be mean about her friends. It's really hard for me when I don't like them. And it isn't that I don't like any of them. I just don't like her best friend; she is frosty, cold, stand offish. None of that matters anyway. I'm going to do my best to not be bitter.
I need to talk to her about the holidays and stuff too. I need to know if she plans on coming home during the holidays, does she want to be there when Kevin and I get married. I just need to know what her plans will be. So, wish me luck with meeting her today and pray that I can be good and make good choices; I know I am!
I worked all day yesterday finishing cleaning up the house. I had the kids work on their rooms and get them all vacuumed out. Michael's room is always terrible. He stuffs everything in the drawers when I tell them to clean up. They stuff trash, toys, paper; just everything! We cleaned out the drawers and through some stuff away. I told the kids they were going to work on their bathroom today. I will get that hallway done and work on our bedroom. There really isn't much to do in there. I just need to get a few things put away and vacuum. It won't take me long. We also need to work on laundry today.
I never started a page yesterday, but I have picked out the papers I'll be working with. I'm hoping to work on that today.My best friend is coming into town from Ohio today. I'm hoping to spend most of the day with her tomorrow.
Here is one of my favorite layouts.... only because I absolutely love this picture of Bailey! It is from years ago. We were at a breakfast with Santa and she was so afraid of going up to see him that she started crying. So this is her crying face being stuffed with a donut LOL I love her eyes. I made the photo black and white but kept her eyes color to make them stand out. I came across a larger copy of this photo in color while I was bringing all my supplies up, cleaning and organizing! You can see her eyelashes all wet LOL