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Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Cleaning and a new Camera

Since I have decided to get back to my scrapbooking, I had to get my supplies back into the house and out of the garage. I find it really hard not having all the supplies near me. So, for the past week I have been trying to organize supplies. Isn't it funny how when you want to clean and organize a space that it gets much more cluttered and messy than when you started before it gets better. Once it gets better it is always way better. While I'm cleaning I'm also trying to get rid of some things. There is a lady downstairs from us that scrapbooks also. I've given her supplies that I would not use, paper that I wouldn't use, fiber that I wouldn't use. I'm a hoarder and I'm trying to thin out a little. I'm definitely not thinning out enough, but I can't let a lot of it go. I try, but I always think... I'll use that one day! LOL The life of us hoarders.. errrr Collectors!! I will continue to work on getting it all cleaned up. It is making the garage look better at the same time! I'm hoping to finish this week and get the house back to normal. I'll keep working each night when I get home. I can't start another page until its finished! And I really need to get back to that album for immigration. I'll try to take some pictures of my space soon.

Last week I ordered a new camera! It's a Canon EOS Rebel. Thanks to my job and them setting up things to help us. I was able to purchase this camera and they take a small amount of my pay check each week to pay for it. It is the only way I would have been able to do this. Finally not a point and shoot, but one that I can adjust and change lens. I've been wanting a better camera for a long time and I've also been wanting to take a class on photography. They have some classes that are at the local city parks, just continuing education, art type classes. I believe the class is $75 and I would love to get in one just to see what I can learn. I've always been really interested in Photography and bettering my own photography. The first step was investing in a better camera. So step one done! I'm really excited about it! I charged the battery up last night. I will have to take some pictures today and see how they come out. The one thing that didn't come with it is a flash. I will have to go out and get a flash for it.

There was a blog hop this past weekend with Cutters Creek Design Team. I didn't win the Grand Prize, but Deanna was also giving away a gorgeous 6x6 Hello Summer Paper Pad and I won it!! I never win anything; I'm so excited!! I think this is the first time I've ever won anything! And on top of that this was my very first Blog Hop! Thank you Deanna so much :)


Monday, June 4, 2012

Meeting Kevin

Three years ago... maybe four years ago now or five, I met Kevin online in a game called World of Warcraft. My daughter and I were playing the game together and trying to find people to join a guild. He was standing there on his character and wasn't in a guild so I asked him if he wanted to join. He said no and we went our separate ways. A couple of days later he was there again and asked how we were going with recruiting. We started talking, he joined and that was the beginning.

I was taken with him immediately. We quickly became really good friends. He helped Taylor and I along the way. We talked online all the time and the others in the group quickly became upset because of how close we grew. We talked every day for hours about everything. At the time he was married and so was I. We had both turned to the game because of our bad relationships. It gave us something to do with our time instead of just being miserable. Both of our relationships grew worse, we both became more unhappy, but we had each other to talk to about our problems and challenges. And we had each other to job around with and make laugh. He definitely brought a lot of joy to my life when joy was in short supply. He had become my best friend. He was the one I turned to when I needed someone to talk to. He was great too, he would listen and offer advice. I would try to do the same for him.

My relationship with my ex-husband was volatile. I had been very suspicious that he was cheating. He hadn't been sleeping in our bed for years. He would stay up really late on the computer and then just ended up making a bed up downstairs and that is where he stayed. That must have gone on for a couple of years. I was so unhappy and I finally made the decision to stop being miserable. I filed for divorce and we decided to try to stay living in the same house. That lasted for quite some time; a year or more. And it was awful. It only got worse. He would come into the bedroom and start arguing with me over everything. And as always, Kevin was there for me all the time.

I finally made the decision to move out with the kids. We found an apartment and moved. That was an ordeal on its own. Two weeks later he flew his girlfriend out to Georgia from California and moved her into our house. My one constant in all of this was Kevin. He was my shoulder to cry on, the one that could make me laugh, and the one person that was always there no matter what. At this point my feeling for him had grown a lot.

Kevin was due to move from Townsville, Queensland to Brisbane, Queensland with his wife. Their relationship was as bad or worse than mine had been. The company that he had worked for for over 10 years had closed and filed bankruptcy. He was a contractor so he was out over $6000. He had found another job in his trade, boilermaking/welding, but they were barely making it. He had talked to his wife about finding a job, but she wouldn't. She didn't even have a driver's license. He had to drive her every where. She headed down to Brisbane ahead of him and he made last minute arrangements to get the rest of their items to Brisbane. He really struggled with going down there, but finally left and was on his way. He left a good job behind only to go to Brisbane to search for a job. When he got down there he was out looking for a job every day. Nothing was happening, but he was trying. She wasn't looking for a job at all and their relationship was beginning to come to a breaking point. She got his phone one day and saw a message from me. She went off on him about not finding a job, talking to me all the time and then started to bring up things about his previous wife. That right there was his breaking point. Kevin takes a lot of things to heart and he blames himself for a lot of things. It is something he struggles with every day. And bringing up his previous marriage was striking at his core. He just took some of his things and he left; he was done. He packed up and headed back up to Townsville calling me along the way. He left with nothing but his clothes, car and his motorcycle. He camped in campgrounds along the way that I found online while he was driving. I didn't sleep very well that night; I was worried about him. He made it back up to Townsville and was staying at a campground. Here he was with no job, no home; it was awful. He was able to get his job back that he had before he left, but it took a couple of weeks. We were able to get him settled into a caravan park cabin after that. It was much better than camping out in the weather.

In Australia you have to be separated for a year and a day before you can file for divorce. October 29th is the day the count down started. A lot happened in that year. He bought a caravan and he ended up leaving Townsville when his job ended. He went to Orange, NSW. Then he went up to Laidley, QLD and then finally to Oakey, QLD where he stayed for a while. We dealt with his health issues and he took a class, looked for a job. We were so close, talking every day and sharing everything. Helping each other through all the challenges of life. He is and was my very best friend and I loved him so very much.

In October of last year he filed for divorce. In December he made his way to us here in the USA. He was able to stay for three months before he had to go back. We took advantage of all of that time and it was great. We have so much in common and we just fit together well. It was so comfortable like he had always been here, like he was meant to be here. He has brought Jesus into my life and joy. When he left we filed the paperwork to get him back here and that is where we are now; just waiting.

We have such a good relationship. It is so different than from my first marriage where David was very controlling and harsh. He would tell me what I was thinking or feeling and that's just how it was. He wasn't supportive at all. He would undermine me in front of the children. It was just bad and very unhappy. I never realized how unhappy I was until I got out of that marriage. It was scary though, because I had never lived on my own and now I was moving out on my own with three kids in tow. I had gone from my mother's house to marriage with David. And my mother and my sister couldn't stand him.

With Kevin it is so different. He is happy to see me when I get home. He is supportive and loving. He always backs me up with the kids no matter what. It is such a shocking difference and so wonderful. Oh, and my mother and sister? They absolutely love him. What a nice change!

So that is the story of Kevin and I and how we became. He is my very best friend in the world, literally LOL I can't wait until he is back here with us. The best thing Kevin has done for me is bring Jesus into my life. I was missing that before. He is the shepherd that showed me the way back. I am so thankful to him for that.





 This is the first page of our visit to the zoo. Bo Bunny Zoo papers, Perfect Layers I use on my matting.. My favorite tool! I used Diamond Glaze on the Z O O letters to make it pop a bit and along the circles on the edge.


More Bo Bunny papers and brads. And my cardstock is Bazzill. Can't remember what font I used for the journaling.


 Just trying to get some pictures of the zoo on these last two. Bo Bunny papers, rhinestones that I glue myself.. less expensive and Bo Bunny brads too. Bazzill  Cardstock.


Just a bunch of zoo pictures and the final page. Bo Bunny papers, Bazzill cardstock and Bo Bunny Brads.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Life after Taylor Leaves...

So, Taylor left and it really left me dealing with a ton of emotions. I was very hurt and angry. I think I am still a little bit of both, but I am definitely feeling better. I was looking at myself as a mother and wondering where I failed. I was looking for someone to blame and really focused in on her friend and her boyfriend for that. And I turned to prayer and God to help me figure everything out or to find my way through this. It is hard to look back at the last 18 years and see how you've put your heart and soul into your kids and then how easy it is for them to leave when things do not go their way. I know I have made mistakes along the way, but over all I feel I've been a pretty good mother. I still stand by decision of a midnight curfew and the two weeks of grounding for the third offense of not following that rule. I would do it again.

The day after Taylor left the house my youngest daughter, Bailey, came to me and asked me why I kicked Taylor out of the house. I was really surprised at that question and realized that through all of that drama the night before I had no idea what my other two kids thought. I explained to her that I didn't kick her out, but that she decided to go on her own. Then I talked to Michael about the situation and found out that he had known about everything. Taylor had pulled him into it by talking to him and telling him all about her plans while she was plotting and putting them in motion that day.

It has now been well over a month since she left and we have all adjusted to life without Taylor in the house. Bailey cleaned up the bedroom that she shared with Taylor and moved to the bigger bed. We are working on her cleaning up after herself a bit more and she is doing really well. I feel like her and I have grown a bit closer since Taylor left. She goes out with me shopping and she talks to me more about things. We have an Archiver's across the street; Bailey and I went in there yesterday to see if there was anything to help me with my organization. One of the ladies in there handed us a class sheet and told us that the age for doing the classes was dropped to 10. Bailey's eyes grew wide and I asked her if she would be interested in doing one of the classes together. She seemed excited and said yes. So we will choose one of the classes this month and go there together. Michael is trying to step it up a bit as the oldest kid in the house now; he is responsible for them both while I'm at work. He is doing a really good job. He took everything in stride. He is still Michael... frustrating and annoying at times, adorably sweet other times. He is a different kind of kid and he always has me wondering. Me, well I'm doing okay. It has been really hard emotionally. I still spend a lot of time thinking about what happened, reflecting on how I raised her and hoping and praying that she will be safe out there on her own. She has a lot of growing up to do if she is going to be out there on her own; I just pray that she makes good decisions along the way. I've decided to really get back into Scrapbooking and Photography, which I have always loved. I've ordered a new camera, which should be here on Monday. I'm hoping to take some photography classes to improve. I'm bringing my Scrapbook supplies out of the garage and trying to get organized in here. I'm also trying to weed out some of the supplies since I am a hoarder... errrrr collector! That sounds so much better! I have a lot to do to get cleaned up. I am trying to figure out why it is that the house gets so much more cluttered and dirty while you are trying to organize and clean. Wow! It looks pretty bad right now, but I'll continue to work on it and I know it will be better in the end.

So, in the aftermath of that difficult night we are all moving forward and adjusting to life after Taylor leaving.

The kids took pictures of me shaving Kevin's head and trimming up his goatee. I love being able to do the little things for him.The papers are old Club Scrap papers.. just trying to use all my old stuff. I love most of their papers. They are amazing quality papers and always very unique.



Saturday, June 2, 2012

Taylor Moving Out


My oldest daughter just turned 18 this past March. This was her Senior year of high school and she just graduated last weekend. Taylor has been the center of my attention for most of her life. We were very close and she is just a great kid. Over the past 6 months to a year we have been growing apart. She doesn't talk to me as much and she would head straight to her room after school.

I have been on her to get a job for over a year now and I don't know what it is, but she was really lazy and wouldn't do what she needed to do. I became very frustrated and that is when the problems began I believe. She would go online and fill out applications and just leave it. I would explain to her that her best bet would be to go in there and talk to someone face to face even if it was just to say that she put her application in. How do you get noticed when it is all online and no one sees you? I wanted her to try a little harder, that's all. It got to the point that she wouldn't even put applications in anymore. And when I would bring it up, she would just roll her eyes and get ticked off at me. I'm a single mother trying to raise the three of them the best I can, but when she started driving and her last year of school there were so many additional expenses. Car repairs, car insurance, gas for two cars, all of the senior expenses for cap and gowns and everything else and the list goes on. Not to mention application fees for college. It seemed like every day there was something new she needed money for and I just didn't have it. And they just don't seem to understand the burden we have trying to pay for everything. This was just one thing of friction in our relationship though.

Her best friend is a girl that is very dark, unsocial, and sort of stand offish. She isn't approachable at all. She doesn't say anything to me, which I find odd. She is completely fascinated with Edgar Allen Poe. Taylor would talk about how she didn't have many friends, she didn't talk to anyone. The girls parents are divorced and both remarried. The father is a wealthy German living here in the US. He seems to be a very nice guy. He bought his daughter a car, she totaled the car and then he bought her a new one. She gets pretty much anything she wants. He took a bunch of them Zip Lining for her birthday. They have a hot tub and pool. Her mother is remarried and there is something about her that just doesn't sit right with me. I've met her several times and it's always strange. She is the mom that tries to be hip and doesn't give her daughter many rules. We went to dinner one night and they were talking about the 27 year old man that was flirting with her daughter. Her daughter is 18 years old and it was being discussed like it was no big deal. I don't know what it is, but there has always been something weird every time I speak with her mother. So to sum it all up, I don't really approve or like this friend. She pays for Taylor to do things all the time, which I can't stand. Taylor accepts the hand outs even though I have tried so hard to get her to work for her own things. One thing about this girl is that she has had a job since she was 14. You would think that would rub off on Taylor. She got the job because her mother was a manager, but she goes to work and saves her money.


The next item that fills our relationship with friction is her boyfriend. Everything was fine until I picked up her phone one day and started reading her text messages from him. They were so gross. There was so much sexual context it was disturbing. I confronted her about the texts and told her I was really disappointed. I have tried so hard to instill certain qualities in my kids and this was surely not one of them. That put a huge strain on our relationship, because I was not very keen on that boy and what he was saying to Taylor. I managed to get her to 18 years of age a virgin. I'm thinking she is not anymore.


The final thing that affected our relationship is Kevin I believe. Taylor wasn't the center of my attention anymore. She was getting older and I had found love. We talked about it and I told her that she needed to understand that she had the rest of her life and that was just starting. This was something for me... something I needed in my life. 


So, May came and her and her boyfriend had Prom to go to. I tried to be very neutral and nice to him. I took pictures and even sent him a text letting him know that I was proud of him for getting his license and that he looked nice tonight; please take care of my daughter. Curfew was midnight and she was home when she was suppose to be, although her story of the night doesn't ring very true for me. They took photos, but yet I can't find any photos of her by the photographers. The following weekend was the Military Ball. The rules were the same.. be home by midnight. I woke up at 1:30 am and she was not here. She had forgotten her cell phone so I was blowing her boyfriends up. He wouldn't pick up. I called the hotel to see what time the ball was over and it was over at 11 pm. I kept ringing and ringing until finally Taylor picked up. She said she was on her way and I went back to bed. I really didn't want to confront her that night because I was pretty upset. The next morning we got up and went to church and she wouldn't speak to me. Then when we got home we took the dog to the park. I asked her what happened and she said they left the ball at 11 pm and went back to his house. They were talking to his dad for a while and she walked off and fell asleep. So I just simply said... "So in other words, you had no intention of ever being home on time. The ball was over at 11 pm and you were suppose to be home by midnight. He is 45 minutes away from home, but you chose to go to his house. This means there was not a chance of you being home on time." I told her she was grounded for two weeks. She looked at me and said, "That will not work. I have that concert to go to with Victoria and I can't just tell her no." I looked at her and told her that is exactly what she would do. I didn't make her stay out late. She chose to break the rules and this wasn't the first time. The rest of the day I knew something was up. I guess you could say just a feeling you get. When it was time for me to go to bed I asked her what was up. Taylor looked at me and told me she was leaving. She was moving out and moving to her best friends house. If I hadn't confronted her she was going to wait until I fell asleep and then she was going to leave. So I would have woken up in the morning and she wouldn't have been there.


It was like someone ripped my heart out. I tried to get her to stay... I cried and cried and it was like I was in mourning for a few weeks. I still tear up when I think about everything that has happened and how she did it. All because she didn't want to follow the rules? And then the aftermath...



Kevin on the Stryker.. this was our first big purchase together. And this is when he is happiest.
And the kids love it as well.


I am really trying to use the supplies that I have as much as I can. I have so many sets from Club Scrap that I never used so I'm trying to use them. I am a huge hoarder LOL So I'm trying to use what I have to lessen my hoard of scrap supplies. I actually went through a ton of stuff and brought a bunch down stairs to a fellow scrapper.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Ginger Snap Scraps is having a great little giveaway.. check it out here:

Ginger Snap Scraps

And OMGosh!! Can you look at those adorable little Aussie creatures!!  Couldn't be cuter or more perfect with my Aussie man!! LOL I just LOVE them!!!

Motivation to Scrap Again

Kevin and I met several years ago online. He came here for three months last December and had to head back home in March. We hired an attorney and filed the immigration fiance paperwork as soon as he left. The paperwork went to the Vermont Service Center since I live on the east coast. Thank goodness I live on the east coast! The initial review of the paperwork takes an average of five months to review at the Vermont Service Center compared to the 18.5 months it takes in the Texas Service Center. We were going to get married before he left, but it actually takes longer to process a family member than it does to process a fiance. It would have been a year to review the paperwork if we had been married first. Once the initial paperwork is reviewed and approved then an interview gets set up at the Consulate in Australia. That apparently can take one to two months. And there are some things that we have to get done by the time of his appointment like a police check, medical examination, etc.
I haven't scrapbooked anything for years now. I just couldn't get motivated to pull everything out and do anything. Now that I know the interview will be scheduled in a couple of months, I have the motivation I need to get busy. We have to have a photo album for him to take when he goes to his consulate interview. So I finally pulled everything out and got busy on an album. I just needed something that would force me to pull things out. I'm really glad to have been forced to get this done, because I have really missed scrapbooking. Even my kids said I was much nicer when I was scrapbooking LOL.
I'm working on an 8.5 x 11 album. I have never worked on such a small palette. I have always done 12x12 pages and I love that I have so much room to work on. It has been really hard to try to work on such a small page, but I'm getting through it! I'm just happy to be working on something!
Once this album is finished I have to send it over to Australia so he can take it on his interview. I just wish the time would hurry up and go by. I'm ready for this waiting to be over and for him to be home. It's really hard being apart.


 I didn't have much for Xmas photos this year so I had to work with what I had. At least I had something. My sister took these with her IPhone... Yuck! Doesn't work as well as she thinks it does.


 This is Kevin and I at my work. Someone at work took the two pictures of us in front of the building. I'm not sure he could have gotten us any farther away LOL. The middle one is us at Chick-fil-a having lunch.